


Of Pancakes & Protein Bars

by pinkamour1588



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Cooking, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Memories, Nervousness, Pancakes, Panic Attacks, Tarsus IV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-06 00:58:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12806121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkamour1588/pseuds/pinkamour1588
Summary: Jim doesn’t take things so well the first time Leonard says no when he’s reaching for food.





	Of Pancakes & Protein Bars

“Bones, how much longer until breakfast is ready?” Jim whined from the kitchen table.

“It’s going to be a little while. Calm down.”

“But I’m hungry.”

“You’re the one who asked for pancakes.”

“Because you make the best pancakes and I barely ever get them.” Jim laid his head down on his arms on the table pouting.

“And we’re waiting for Joanna. It is her birthday after all.”

“I can’t believe she’s turning seven. They grow up so fast.”

Leonard raised an eyebrow at Jim but said nothing more and looked back at the griddle. Five minutes later, he was putting bacon in a frying pan when Jim walked over and started to pick up one of the blueberry pancakes. “No,” was all Leonard said a little too harshly, swatting the back of Jim’s hand probably a bit too hard.

Jim recoiled and whispered, “But I’m hungry,” his voice shaking.

Leonard knew that tone. That terrified, anxious whisper that bordered on a whimper that Jim couldn’t fake even if he tried. Leonard looked at Jim, who was holding the hand that had been swatted to his chest.

“Jim…” Leonard began.

The blonde shook his head stepping back from the counter.

“Ok, you can take one.” Leonard was already getting desperate, trying to avoid Jim going into a full panic attack.

Jim shook his head, backing further away. “You said no.”

“But I’m saying ‘ok’ now.”

“You said no,” Jim repeated.

_So much for trying to avoid a panic attack._  Leonard turned the stove off and move the griddle and frying pan off the burners. He stepped closer to Jim and pulled the shaking blond against him.

“You said no,” Jim whimpered.

“I know, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking,” Leonard answered stroking Jim’s back. Though, he quickly figured out that Jim wasn’t actually listening to him based on the fact he just kept repeating “you said no.” He placed a hand on the back of Jim’s neck, rubbing his hairline with his thumb as he felt his shirt getting wet. “Shhh, you’re ok. You’re ok,” he soothed but Jim just continued shaking and crying.

“I said I was hungry,” Jim whispered between sobs after a few minutes.

“I know,” he nodded pressing his lips to Jim’s temple.

“And—And you smacked my hand.”

“I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

“No. I don’t think so.” Jim pressed his face into the crook of Leonard’s neck and the doctor could feel the way Jim’s eyebrow’s furrowed.

“Can I see?”

Jim nodded but didn’t pull away. Leonard opened his mouth to ask him to step back, but then decided against it.

“I’m sorry,” Jim said after a few minutes.

Leonard pulled back and looked at Jim. “What do you have to be sorry for?” He cupped Jim’s jaw rubbing his stubbly cheek.

“You told me I had to wait and I tried to take a pancake anyway,” Jim said shyly.

“Jim, you have nothing to apologize for. You said you were hungry. I shouldn’t’ve said no. I should’ve known better.” He gave Jim a small smile. “Now, would you like that pancake?”

Jim’s face brightened up a little and he gave a small nod.

“Go ahead.”

Jim stepped back and over to the plate of pancakes. He watched Leonard out of the corner of his eye as he picked up the pancake, tore off a piece, and put it in his mouth, chewing slowly.

“Can I see your hand?” Leonard asked reaching one hand toward Jim.

Jim frowned a little as he held out the hand with the pancake in it.

“Other hand.”

“Oh.” The tips of Jim’s ears reddened as he held out his other hand, the one Leonard had swatted away from the food earlier.

Leonard took his hand and looked it over. The back was definitely still red, though he wasn’t sure if that was from the swat or from Jim cradling it to his chest. Either way, he felt bad and pressed a quick kiss to it before dropping it. He smiled at Jim as he went back to cooking.

~~~

That night, after Leonard carried a sleeping seven-year-old to bed, he walked into the bedroom to see Jim shuffling around in his sock drawer mumbling numbers under his breath.

“Counting your socks?” Leonard smiled as he walked closer.

“Yeah,” Jim answered quickly as he shoved the drawer shut before Leonard got close enough to see the contents.

“Everything alright?”

Jim nodded forcing a smile.

“Jim, I’ve been around you enough to know when you’re lying.”

The blond sighed and tugged the drawer part way open before quickly retreating to the other room. He sat curled up on the couch, knees pulled to his chest, forehead resting on them, and fidgeting anxiously with his fingers. When he felt Leonard sit down next to him and take Jim’s hands in his.

“All of those protein bars are expired, you know,” Leonard said.

“Only a few months,” Jim mumbled.

“No, some of those are over a year expired.”

“I’m not wasting food.”

“Jim, they’re not safe to eat.”

“Don’t eat them much anyway,” Jim shrugged.

“You shouldn’t eat them anyway. You could get sick,” Leonard said rubbing the back of Jim’s thankfully not bruised hand with his thumb.

“I’m not throwing them away. I keep them there for a reason.”

“I know. We can get more.”

Jim lifted his head and looked at Leonard, clearly surprised by the statement. “You’re not going to throw them away?”

“No, you are.”

“But I said I’m not going to.”

“I want you to throw them away after we go to the store and get more. Until then, please promise me you won’t eat any of the ones you have. We have plenty of food in the kitchen.”

“I promise,” Jim nodded, then paused and said, “You aren’t upset.”

“Why should I be upset?”

“Because I’ve been hiding food.”

“So? The only thing I’m concerned about regarding it is that it’s expired food.”

“But I don’t  _need_  to hide food. It’s just…” Jim looked down at his lap. “Just a thing. It’s just a thing I do because I’m scared.”

“I assumed that much.”

“You don’t think it’s stupid?”

“A little pointless since you have no reason to be worried food’s going to run out. We have more than enough in the house. But not stupid.” Leonard gave Jim’s hands a gentle tug. “C’mere.”

Jim shifted around and moved closer to Leonard, curling up next to him.

“I do want to work on getting you to the point you don’t stash it in your sock drawer or maybe even to the point you don’t feel like you need to, alright?”

“Alright,” Jim nodded starting to fidget anxiously again.

“Slowly. However long it takes.”

“Ok.”

“We can go to the grocery store tomorrow. Sound good?”

Jim nodded and Leonard smiled kissing the top of his head.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://pinkamour1588.tumblr.com)


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